


Humans are space orcs compilation

by bubbelpop2



Category: humans are space orcs - Fandom, humans are weird - Fandom
Genre: Gen, Humans Are Weird, Humans are space orcs, Multi, Stabby the Space Roomba, humans are space australians, humans are space oddities
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-07
Updated: 2018-02-07
Packaged: 2019-03-15 00:31:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 4,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13601724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bubbelpop2/pseuds/bubbelpop2
Summary: bunch of stuff from the humans are space orcs tag on tumblr. credits always there, don't comment without looking first.





	1. short imagines

[scifihumanheadcanons](https://scifihumanheadcanons.tumblr.com/post/170586159239/i-want-to-talk-about-humans-and-extreme-sports)

I want to talk about humans and extreme sports. I’m talking swiming under ice for fun, I’m talking snowmobiling down frozen lakes, I’m talking cliff diving, and every other instance you can think of.

I think aliens would be impressed but also concerned with the things we put ourselves at risk for, for the sake of adrenaline rushes and a good time. It’s literally so easy to die doing these things, sometimes even if you take proper precautions. Aliens might go kinda nuts making sure they don’t lose another human to skydiving, even though the human reassures them they’ve been skydiving many many times before.

[thepie-overlord](http://thepie-overlord.tumblr.com/) submitted to [what-are-even-humans](http://what-are-even-humans.tumblr.com/)

**Submitted by @[thepie-overlord](http://thepie-overlord.tumblr.com/)**

## Cracking Bones/Popping joints 

I’ve been sucked into the “Humans are weird”, “Earth is space Australia”, “Humans are space orcs” tags for a while now and thought I’d take a stab at it. So far I haven’t seen a post about cracking or popping bones.  And as a person who has made a habit out of popping my joints, bones, and back often AND loves to freak people out with the loud results, I think it’d be hilarious

For example:

* _C R A C K_ *

Koiröd’s skin flashed yellow is surprise at the loud and sickening sound and spun around looking for the source.  Human-Kathrine, the only other person in the engine room, had her arms stretched above her head and back arched forward.  Changing from yellow to green in confusion, Koiröd was about to ask what that sound was when a series of loud, short pops and cracks came from Human-Kathrine and she admitted a loud sigh.

“Human-Kathrine!  Are you alright?!  Do you require medical assistance?!  I do not believe you should be making those sounds!”

Kathrine glanced at Koiröd in confusion, but quickly realized the cause of xir’s distress.

“Oh, don’t worry!  I’m just cracking my bones.”

“YoU’Re DoInG WhAt?!?!?”

“I’m stretching in a way that releases air from between my bones and joints.  Don’t worry, it’s not harmful.  Actually, it feels relaxing and nice!”

Koiröd was unsure.  How could something that sounded like BREAKING BONES be considered RELAXING?!

“I don’t understand how something that sounds so sickening could be relaxing.”

“Look, theres no need to worry.  I’m completely fine when I do it.”

By the blue tint that graced Koiröd’s skin, it was easy to tell that xe was skeptical of what she was saying.

“Look, I’ll show you”

“I really don’t think that’s needed-”

*C R A C K*

Koiröd’s crest flattened significantly on xir’s head at the sudden noise and fled from the engine room immediately.  Xe understood that maybe it was normal for humans, but he could not understand  _how such a vile sounding thing could be relaxing_.  All that could be done now is report that “cracking bones” does not hurt humans, but could be considered pleasurable to them.

 

[listen-to-the-trees](https://listen-to-the-trees.tumblr.com/post/170595012854/yes-no-maybe-i-deeply-pity-the-alien)

[ Follow ](https://www.tumblr.com/follow/listen-to-the-trees)

# Yes? No? Maybe?

I deeply pity the alien anthropologist (xenologist?) or linguist charged with understanding not just human languages but human coloquialisms. Looking at English alone, there are a million random idiosyncrasies. For example, you can play the “Am I Agreeing or Disagreeing” game:

—Sometimes using two negatives equals a negative (“I don’t want to go nowhere!”) but then sometimes using just one does as well (“I don’t want to go anywhere!”)

—Sometimes, a negative and a positive can be combined to equal a negative (“Yeah no.”)

—Sometimes two positives together equal a negative (“Yeah, right.”)

—And sometimes an elongated positive is used to suggest negativity and scepticism (“Riiiiiight…”)

 

Got it? Great, go talk to some humans!

 

[sateenvarjopoika](https://sateenvarjopoika.tumblr.com/post/167343189988/the-universe-okay-youre-a-human-i-gave-you)

[ Follow ](https://www.tumblr.com/follow/sateenvarjopoika)

**the universe:**  okay, you’re a human. I gave you free will and a conscious mind, so you’re free to do whatever you want. So what do you wanna do?

**human:**  GO FAST

**the universe:**  well, you’re a perfect pursuit predator but if that’s the way you want to evolve, go ahead.

**human, climbing on a horse:**  GO FAST

**the universe:**  wait what

human, inventing the carriage, the car and the bullet train: GO FASTER

**the universe:**  I IMPLORE YOU TO STOP

**human, trying to figure out lightspeed travel:**  FAS T ER

 

 


	2. humans and weather

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Imagine a group of humans and aliens talking about their home worlds while in the ship’s canteen. One world is covered entirely by water (the crew members from there have to wear special masks to help them absorb the oxygen they need from the air); one is full of rare minerals and littered with what, on any other planet, would be precious stones and one is carpeted with dense vegetation and has the more biodiversity than any other planet.

[cheeseanonioncrisps](https://cheeseanonioncrisps.tumblr.com/post/160484271200/imagine-a-group-of-humans-and-aliens-talking-about)

[ Follow ](https://www.tumblr.com/follow/cheeseanonioncrisps)

Imagine a group of humans and aliens talking about their home worlds while in the ship’s canteen. One world is covered entirely by water (the crew members from there have to wear special masks to help them absorb the oxygen they need from the air); one is full of rare minerals and littered with what, on any other planet, would be precious stones and one is carpeted with dense vegetation and has the more biodiversity than any other planet.

  
Once they’ve all finished talking about their own planets, everybody turns to the humans and asks them what Earth is like. They’re only doing it to be polite though. They haven’t heard much about humans (except the usual stories, and only fledglings believe in those) and they can’t really believe that these fleshy bald looking things come from anywhere even remotely as interesting as their own planets.

  
There’s a pause and then one of the humans speaks up, “well, I come from a part of Earth called ‘England’ and, to be honest, it’s nothing like as cool as your planets sound. It’s alright though. We got some snow last year, so I’m hoping that we’ll have some this year as well when I get back.”

  
“Snow?” one of the water breathers asks, hissing slightly through their mask, “what’s that?”

  
“Frozen water that falls from the sky.” The human explains, “it’s really fun to play with. It’s only called snow when it’s soft though— when it’s hard it’s called hail. Nobody likes hail, you can’t do anything with it and it hurts if it hits you. I looked up during a hail storm once,” she adds, “when I was a kid. Huge hailstones and one hit me right in the eye! Hurt like Hell.”

  
“Is your planet really cold then?” one of the aliens asks, sounding doubtful since nothing has looked less equipped to deal with cold weather than a human.

  
“No,” she says, “not everywhere. England’s pretty cold, but in the Summer sometimes we get heatwaves. Last year I went out in one and forgot to wear suncream and got sunburn all down my arms.”

  
“Your planet’s sun…  _burned_  you?” a horrified creature asks, “was it painful?”

  
“Not really, just stung a bit,” she shrugs, “it was fine once the skin started to peel.” (At the back of the crowd that has now amassed around their table a voice says “I didn’t know humans moulted.” and another, horrified sounding voice replies “that’s because they  _don’t!_ ”) the human continues on regardless. “It was really annoying actually, because it meant I couldn’t go out for a bit without wearing a jacket. Then when my burns had finally healed, I wanted to go to the beach, but when I got there there was this huge thunderstorm and I had to go home again.”

  
“Thunderstorm?” the word is whispered, mainly because the person asking secretly hopes the human won’t hear them so they won’t have to know.

  
“It’s when the clouds get all dark and it starts raining,” the human explains and everybody sighs with relief. Most planets have rain. “The clouds make these really loud banging noises,” she continues, “that’s the thunder, and electricity shoots down from the clouds— that’s called lightning. Sometimes people get hit by it, a few people even survive. I once—”

  
But one of her human friends cuts her off. “God,” he says, “you Brits are so boring, always talking about the weather!”

  
While she argues with him, the creatures seated around the table stare at them in astonishment and start to give a little more credit to those old stories. Because, though they look pretty harmless, a species would have to be tough to be able to survive on a planet where a person could be pelted with ice, burned by the sun and nearly electrocuted by the sky and then have another person describe those experiences as  _boring!_


	3. Humans and impatience

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Imagine if humans are the only species that experiences impatience.

[thefauxfox](https://thefauxfox.tumblr.com/post/159752256110/its-early-in-the-morning-and-nobody-will-probably)

[ Follow ](https://www.tumblr.com/follow/thefauxfox)

It’s early in the morning and nobody will probably read this but I just had the greatest ‘humans are space orcs’ idea

**Imagine if humans are the only species that experiences impatience.**

Think about it. Most prey animals are extremely patient. Ever meet a deer or a rabbit in the woods and hold still to try and out-wait the thing? I can guarantee your brain starts sending  _bored bored bored_  messages very quickly, and your instincts start telling you to give up and find something else to do. Humans can do the patience thing- as evidenced by our endurance hunting methods- but our instincts tell us not to. Correct me if I’m wrong, but this feels like a predator development. I have the idea that if aliens are mostly prey-based, and we’re predator-based, then the aliens will be very patient and we just aren’t.

As an evolutionary development, being impatient can be brilliant. It means that we didn’t sit around and wait for the ice caps to warm up, we knew we didn’t have the technology to survive that level of cold,  _but we did it anyways_. We were trying to send people into the sky and then into space before we had fully figured it all out, simply because we didn’t want to wait and think it out, we wanted SPACE and we wanted it NOW. And personally, I tend to be extremely productive and inventive when I’m feeling impatient. Mechanic is booked for a few days? I’ll figure out how to change my oil and tires and tint my car’s windows myself. Strawberry season is still 4 months away? I’ll get a heat lamp setup and grow them myself. Friends can’t visit and help move furniture for a week? I’ll build a trolley out of some toy cars, tape, a chessboard, and do all the lifting myself.

This impatience is what made us design faster cars, faster computers, faster internet, faster communication, methods of growing food faster, of processing food faster, we’re always looking for the quickest and most efficient thing simply because  **we are not patient.**

Impatience leads to a type of creativity and persistence that patience just doesn’t have.

Imagine aliens starting to realize this.

“You got to your moon before you had developed LED screens??? You didn’t even have computers that could do basic math?!”  
“Well, what else were we gonna do, sit around and wait?”

“Your planes don’t have gravitational control? Don’t you experience discomfort from the acceleration and directional changes?”  
“Sure. But we needed to get on the other side of the planet in a decent amount of time.”  
“So… what you’re articulating is that you’d rather have physical distress than have to have a long journey?”  
“Yeah, pretty much.”

“Human____, our mechanical teams will be on site in several of your earth hours, so we won’t be going anywhere until then.”  
“Screw that. Where’s the manual for this thing? I bet I can fix it.”  
“But you don’t have any mechanical training.”  
“I also don’t feel like sitting around on this rock for ages.”

“You’re back already? I thought your medical representative told you to not be walking on that limb for another of your weeks.”  
“Ugh. I just can’t anymore. I’ve got to get up and move and do something, anything.”  
“But doesn’t that hurt to walk on?”  
“Absolutely.”  
“…You would choose pain over waiting?”  
“What can I say, I’m not a patient person.”

Like aliens just being baffled that humans would rather work hard or struggle with a problem or even experience pain and discomfort. They, as prey species, are used to just waiting it out. They don’t have the same impatience driving them to get up and go and to fight through things just because they can’t wait any longer.

Bonus:   
Human: Ain’t nobody got time for that!  
Alien: Why don’t you have time? Is something scheduled soon?  
Human: No, I just don’t feel like wasting time.  
Alien: But… it’s not wasted. It’s time well spent. And you do technically have the time to spare for that. If there’s nothing scheduled, then you do ‘got time for that’.  
Human: No. No, I don’t. It’s just… no.


	4. space fae and packbonding

[sixthousandbees](http://sixthousandbees.tumblr.com/post/159530884733/thought-about-humans-are-space-orcsspace-fae)

[ Follow ](https://www.tumblr.com/follow/sixthousandbees)

Thought about “Humans are space orcs/space fae”. There was a line talking about how theres a human working on a ship but no-ones entirely sure if they’re meant to be there, but they didn’t want to like offend the terrifying space orc.

What if the “drifter” archetype continues into space? Like maybe we negotiated for free travel with one of our allies, but because humans come from a death world and are terrfiying, and because humans can be oblivious, we just assume we can board on any ship going anywhere, nbd?

like not as stowaways. we’re not hiding. Like those wolves and wild dogs in russia that use the railways. Are YOU going to tell a wolf they shouldn’t be riding the train?!? Thought not.

* * *

 

[rainaramsay](http://rainaramsay.tumblr.com/post/165100992520/in-the-midst-of-all-these-humans-will-packbond)

[ Follow ](https://www.tumblr.com/follow/rainaramsay)

In the midst of all these “Humans will packbond with anything” posts, I’m going to pause and give you some actual, real-world career advice

Ready?   
  
Humans are packbondy creatures.  I mean, there’s just no arguing it.  They packbond readily, and quickly, and unbelievably strongly.  Once a human has packbonded with a thing, they will do anything to help and protect that thing.  

There’s a downside to that, not often mentioned.  It uses up a  _lot_ of their time and energy to build those packbonds, maintain those packbonds, and most especially to do the work of helping and protecting those with whom they have packbonded.  It doesn’t leave them a lot of time and energy for helping other beings.   
  
If you want a human to help you – if you want to reliably get their best effort – you have to packbond with them first.  
  
“ _ **Yeah? So?** ”_  
So you’re probably going to be working with humans for most, if not all, of your career.  No matter how good or bad you are at your job, there will come a time when you need someone else in your workspace to help you with something, whether that’s manning the fry station for 2 minutes while you pee, sending over those numbers from marketing, or dropping everything to teach you how to do a thing that your boss told you to do or else you’d be fired.    
  
Not to mention the big things.  They don’t give promotions to just their friends – at least not so much any more. Promotions go to the people who’ve completed big, visible, important projects.  It seems fair until you consider,,,,  _who_  gets the big, important, visible projects assigned to them in the first place?    
  
Humans give boosts to the people they’ve packbonded with.  They mention packbondee’s accomplishments to the boss (or the boss’ boss).  They cover for the mistakes of people they’ve packbonded with.  

“ _That’s not right! It shouldn’t be a popularity contest! It should be about who does the best –”_  
Listen to me.   
 **Listen.**

You may be right.  You may be the most correct creature to have ever spoken since the beginning of galactic civilization.   
  
It  
does  
not  
matter  
  
Humans packbond. It’s what they do. I can’t stop it. You can’t stop it.  No power in the ‘verse can stop it. This is how the human do.  
  
All you can do is work with it.   
  
 **If you want a human to help you – if you want to reliably get their best effort – you have to packbond with them first.**  
  
“ _Look, I’m introverted and scared of people and I have social anxiety so I really don’t know how to –”  
_ Hey, my pal, I feel you.  I, too, am introverted. And I have social anxiety. And I have PTSD that actually – and I recognize that this is bizarre – has ‘business networking’ as a trigger.    
  
For you, I have good news:  
 _Humans will packbond with anything._     
  
Like, you don’t really actually have to do anything. You kinda just have to… exist. In their presence. They kinda do the rest.    
  
If you can talk with them, that speeds things up.  But it doesn’t have to be, like,  _good_  conversation. Like, it can totally go  
  
You: boy, sure is hot out!  
Human: Man oh man, can you believe it?  
You: Wow, yeah  
Human: Totally  
You: ….  
Human: ….

This conversation – as awkward and uncomfortable as it felt to you, has caused this human to packbond with you a little more. If you repeat it weekly, you will get good results. 

**THE TAKEAWAYS**

  * You need to packbond with the humans you come in contact with
  * Taking time to do that is not only justifiable, it is an important part of your job, and should be treated as such
  * That is to say that, as much as you hate it (and believe me, I understand), you  _have to take time away from actual work_  and  _dedicate it to packbonding_  with your fellow workers



**Tips**

  * Plan out your packbonding time. It’s easier if you can initiate than if a human springs packbonding-time on you all unexpected.  In an office job I like to use Friday afternoon, but adjust according to what makes sense to you and your situation.
  * Keep some packbonding-time questions handy.  My go-to list is:
    * (If it’s Monday or Tuesday) How was your weekend?
    * (If it’s Wednesday) How’s your week been so far?
    * (If it’s Thursday or Friday) Any big plans for the weekend?
    * How’s your day been?
  * You don’t have to care about the answers to these questions. All you have to do is remember that if the human is answering questions,  _they are not asking you any questions_.  Therefore questions are your friend.  If you ask follow-up questions, you may be able to get through the entire packbonding time without having to do any of the talking
  * Learn to disengage from packbonding.  You can use basically the same sentence (or variants on it), but you’ll want to practice it so that you can make it sound natural.  I use “Awesome! Well, I gotta get going. Have a good one!”



I know it feels overwhelming, but a few minutes of packbonding, once a week, is all you need.  Once you build it into your habits it can be no more annoying than doing dishes or showering.  

 


	5. reanimation

[wearenotalone92](http://wearenotalone92.tumblr.com/post/164889335091/but-reanimation-i-mean-humans-are-so-frigging)

[ Follow ](https://www.tumblr.com/follow/wearenotalone92)

but reanimation 

I mean… humans are so frigging hard to kill that if you die people will just be OH NO YOU DON’T and start pumping your heart themselves and breathing in your lungs until you do it by yourself again. most races consider someone dead when the heart stops, but not humans. not you-can’t-kill-me humans. until there’s even a teeny tiny grain of hope they fucking won’t let death have them. they know that they have a few minutes to do so, at best, and it would be simpler to just let go, but not humans.

cardiac arrest? not on my shift, buddy. respiratory failure? heck no. 

whatever happens, they will try to literally bring you back from the otherworld. 

**MonCalamari** : I feel very sad. Human Jessie died the other day… a cardiac arrest. She was such a good friend, I can’t even- 

**Human Steve** : buddy, Jessie is alive and well. she’s still in medic bay of course, what with the heart problem and everything, but now she’s good!  who told you that she died? 

**MonCalamari** : … are you kidding me? her heart stopped, of course she is dead! 

**Human Steve** : she most definitely isnt, I just went to medic bay and she’s still kicking- mind you, they saved her by a hair, they tried for almost ten minutes… they almost had given up on her, but she is strong and they managed to restart the heart in time.

**MonCalamari** : they… they got her heart beating again? but that’s surely impossible…? 

**Human Steve** : go in medic bay if you don’t believe me. surely by now you should have learned that humans don’t like to die?


	6. human young

[thededfa](https://thededfa.tumblr.com/post/167664519595/on-the-months-my-research-team-and-i-were-allowed)

[ Follow ](https://www.tumblr.com/follow/thededfa)

On the months my research team and I were allowed to live on Earth and observe their habitat I noted the following about human young:

\- human young will turn anything into a weapon to mock battle their peers, broom sticks, straws, even their food

\- when in large groups human young will display games of mock hunts against each other. The two most common being “tag” where one young will try to catch the other young acting as prey, and “mob” where all of the young will try to catch a single young who acts as the prey. This suggests an instinctive ability for both pack and solo hunting

\- human young will often hone their stalking and hunting skills by hiding or attempting to sneak up on others and pouncing with loud sounds meant to intimidate and frighten. This is considered amusing for the attacker and victim  

\- adult humans will often mock attack their young with their hands or objects to train the young to protect their vital areas and avoid injury. The young find this amusing and will quickly learn to train each other in this manner

\- young humans will often attack and attach themselves to an older human’s legs, arms, or back, hanging on despite being dragged or carried while the adult human walks away. Both humans seems to find the experience entertaining 

\- young humans are extremely territorial and will attempt to drive off others from food, toys, and areas they have claimed as theirs with physical and verbal attacks. Fortunately, most adult humans actively try to train this behavior out, insisting the young come to an agreement or share resources and territory. 

\- young humans constantly search for new territory, dens, and resources. They will climb trees, shelving, anything they can reach. They will climb under and behind things. If there are no suitable hiding areas they will construct them out of blankets and cushions or any other available item. 

\- young humans display a strong pack instinct, quickly forming social groups and defending their group against other groups. Often they will split their own group in order to mock battle each other in contests

\- HUMAN YOUNG WILL BITE IF DISTRESSED OR ANGRY AND EMIT LOUD NOISES THAT CALL MATURE HUMANS TO AID THEM

\- human young will beg for domesticated carnivores as companions, and if gifted with one will pack bond with it to an extreme point.

\- human young will carry a toy and try to protect and nurture it as if the toy was their own young

\- human young require constant stimulation in the form of games or information. They will constantly question things and can spend extraordinary amounts of time asking “why”, often while poking the subject in question

\- human young will try to eat anything at least once. Anything. If it will fit into their mouth they will attempt to eat it. If it will not fit into their mouth they will lick it. 

-human young will voluntarily deprive themselves of oxygen to the point of unconsciousness in an attempt to trigger protective instincts in older humans so they get their way

\- human young display great interest in mimicry, often dressing up as different professions, species, and objects. They also display great skill in mimicking the calls and body language of other species.   
      * _Example: one human young had me quite concerned there was another Treawalbil in distress and I searched for quite some time before I discovered that the young was mimicking a Treawalbil distress trill with complete accuracy.  
     *Second Example: Human young have begun to wear wear “hats” with artificial crests similar to a Treawalbil and some have begun painting colorful patterns to their arms in imitation of our camouflage. _

\- human young communicate constantly and spread information quickly not only among their own social group but other social groups as well.  
    * _Example: The human young who mimicked a Treawalbil distress trill taught their social group and soon I was surrounded by human young calling out in distress. This caused the Treawalbil researchers much anxiety so the adult humans suggested teaching the young other calls. The human young learned enough for basic communication at an astonishing rate, but then other social groups we had not taught began using the same calls as well. Even adult humans began using the calls to communicate with us without translators._

_-_ Young humans will gift beings and creatures they believe to be in their social group with handmade objects, interesting specimens they have collected, or food. Strangely enough, a being does not have to be human in order to belong to a human’s social group. 


	7. a stubbed toe is worse than a broken arm

[thefauxfox](https://thefauxfox.tumblr.com/post/161031122605/another-humans-are-weirdspace-orcs-idea-that-came)

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Another humans are weird/space orcs idea that came to me while trying to drink water upside down:

Humans are apex predators. We’re unbreakable and relentless and legion and lethal. Nothing gets to us-  _except us._

**It’s the stupidest little things that can stop up a human.**

Many aliens have theorized about this. Perhaps with no natural enemies, the species tried to threaten them with themselves in a desperate search for some kind of challenge. Maybe it’s cosmic karma for being nigh unstoppable. Maybe they had transcended so much that the nuances of life were tiny and incomprehensible to them. Maybe it’s natural selection trying to thin the herd.

Whichever the cause, it’s a strange combination of disturbing and amusing to see a human be defeated by itself. It’s a little alarming to see the most resilient and powerful species in the universe be completely shut down with things that pale in comparison to their normal challenges.

Seeing a human function almost completely fully with several broken bones… but absolutely crippled and reduced to using one arm when faced with a large hangnail.

My dad broke his leg in a snowmobile accident in such a way that the bone was sticking out of his leg. He crawled a half mile in the snow to the nearest house to ask for help. But when he stubs his toe on the coffee table every few weeks, it’ll bring him to his knees.

I recently got a double conch piercing done- two massive needles shoved through the thickest cartilage in my ear, one right after the other. I’ve got 5 other piercings. None, not even the conch, hurt as much as getting a single hair yanked out of my head.

I see people eat some of the world’s hottest foods all laced with capsaicin which can  _kill things_ , and drink alcohol that’s literally poisonous, and break pen cases with their teeth. But a too cold slush drink? Unable to talk or move, head between the knees, for about two minutes, because  _brain freeze_. Or, better yet, sometimes we literally  _choke on spit_. Nearly asphyxiate. Because we regularly ‘swallow down the wrong hole’. 

**Alien** : Why did you say, last month, that your broken ribs and arm and massive blood loss was ‘fine’, but when you got a paper cut today, you cried for ten minutes and now still refuse to unwrap your wound? It is tiny in comparison to some things that you’ve faced without hesitation.

**Human** : Honestly it’s really stupid and I don’t really know, but I will swear up and down and until the day I die, a broken bone hurts way less than a paper cut.

**Alien** : But… no. It’s not worse. It… that doesn’t make sense.

**Human** : I know, right? But it’s true. 


End file.
